by Jeff Sovern
We received the following transcript from Canadian intelligence services of White House deliberations between two unidentified people:
A: Who should we pick to run the BCFP?
B: Can't Mick just stay on?
A: Not past this week.
B: Too bad. He's done a great job. Wait until you see the bank campaign contributions! Could we nominate him for the permanent job?
A: It would be a confirmation battle, and if we lose two senators, we lose the battle.
B: Too bad we can't clone him.
A: What about someone he works with, someone we know will hew to his line?
B: Great idea! Let's pick a stealth candidate, someone we know but no one else does. Someone without a record in consumer stuff. Then no one can use any past statements against us. We tell the candidate to say as little as possible, try to sneak through confirmation.
A: Then people might vote no because the candidate doesn't have any experience or know anything about consumer law. This stuff isn't easy, you know.
B: Ignorance didn't hurt Devos.
A: Yeah, but we've lost a seat since then, and the vice president had to break a tie on that one. If that vote were held today, we would lose.
B: Well, what happens if we lose?
A: Then we get another cycle. Mick gets another seven months and we nominate someone else. And that person gets a five-year term on confirmation, so it gives us control of the Bureau for even longer
B: So either we get the Mick clone or Mick? Sounds perfect! We win either way.
A: I love this country!
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